I have memories of abuse that have surfaced spontaneously from my body starting in the Summer of 2014. (I had some flashbacks as far back as 1992 but they did not make sense in isolation.) I have had to care for myself in this time, and deal with and heal the damage that became apparent in this process. I have also extensively assessed and investigated the information contained in these memories. This process has been healing for me, and is still ongoing. Through it I have recovered to a large extent from a long-term schizoid depression. I have not been under treatment from a psychotherapist or other health care professional in this time.
A large number of pieces of information have convinced me that my memories are a true and accurate record of traumatic experiences I have lived through. Many of these are reports of events in the testimony of other survivors and investigators which coincided with my own memories. Particularly notable are things I have learnt from Elisa E, Arizona Wilder, Dave Staffen, and Andrea Sadegh, although there are many more.
Numerous times I have remembered things which I have later heard of in other survivor’s accounts. Similarly I have also heard of things which I have later seen in my memories. Survivor accounts correlate with information from investigators, whistle-blowers, government documents, and historians. Also the identity of abusers also correlates. Two of my abusers are well known publicly and officially, with large amounts of evidence, to have perpetrated terrible crimes against children. I have eventually and reluctantly come to the firm conclusion that my memories are a true and accurate account of what I lived through when young. I now understand that I was previously unaware of these things because of amnesia, as a result of traumatic dissociation. I now also know that anomalous content that is a feature of some of these events, is simply due to having lived through things which do go on, but are hidden from the general public.
I particularly want to draw attention to the investigation done by Mag. Andrea Sadegh into extreme organised abuse of children. It was my great pleasure to meet her personally.
(I recommend her website
as a resource for survivors and their allies.
A version of her presentation on signs of mind control is also posted there.)

I will list now some of the symptoms and experiences expressed and exhibited by children thus abused, which she described in a presentation, and which coincide with my own experience. This impressed me greatly.

Baseline traumatisation before age 3 (Imprinting and bonding to trainers involved witnessing the rape of my mother)
Multiple personality created by trauma
Sexually abused before age 3
Made to eat own excrement
Damage to male reproductive system. (Non-structural)
Trained to please adult males sexually (Wooden rods were used to prepare my rectum)
Made to kill other children
Learn to obey and keep silent
Special training in alters – as a cult priest
Punishment for disobedience
Physical implants (unconfirmed)
Being attached to a non-physical hostile being
Having another parent ( I believed that my trainer was my father, and we were treated as father and son when together)
Being filmed and photographed.
Feeling sick
Feeling exhausted
Being held under water
Being raped
Being shut in a closed space (in a coffin with human remains, and also being driven in the boot of a car as a baby and boy)
Seeing devils, ETs etc.
Being drugged
Robotic behaviour
Tears, weakness, and shaking.
Electric shocks (To penis, and military ECT)
Emotional blunting
Developmental regressions (social and sexual, as adult)
Horrendous inner tension and stress
Memory loss, lost time
Horror and fear of death ( a deep sense of horror and terror in my core)
Being mocked during torture
Nervous system overload (resulting in psychiatric illness)

Further corroborations
I remember blood coming out from behind a door. When we went through it was a room with white walls, like an industrial fridge that had just been hosed down. This was in a place where children were killed. I later saw a similar photo in the pizzagate evidence of an industrial fridge labelled, #murder.

Elisa E reports the use of the colours black and red together in her military mind control programming. I used to get very scared when I saw the colours black and red together in my mind.

Elisa E reports a type of shower tray 8 or 10 feet square with a drain, which was used for training in body disposal. I saw a similar thing about the size of a ping-pong table, which was used in a satanist party at a manor house, where children were killed and dismembered.

I remembered a raptor type reptilian being who was being roped and goaded in a temple used by a cult where both humans and reptilians were present. It was very interesting to me when Kerry Cassidy reported the testimony of Captain Mark Richards, who described raptor type reptilians who were in conflict with other reptilian factions.

I have encountered reptilian shapeshifters such as Peter Hayman and Margaret Thatcher. Both Sarah Adams, and Arizona Wilder have reported the Queen to be an abuser and shapeshifter. Edward Heath has also been reported for this. I can very much sympathise with this because they were both in a group of people when I lost consciousness. When I came to they were no longer there, but there was a group of reptilians.

As a little boy I saw babies that were copies of me, clones. Pattie Brassard, Aug Tellez, Sarah Adams, Lauda Leon, and others have also reported human cloning.

In a report to Wiltshire police I made on 1/9/17 about a traumatic training incident, when I was age about two and a half, with a group of gentlemen including Sir Peter Hayman, I stated “I was in the lounge naked on the pale beige dirty cold carpet with my wrists roped to my ankles.” Anthony Daly in his book Playland, recently published in 2018, partially describes a very serious abuse incident on two boys by a group of gentlemen including Sir Peter Hayman. He states on P218 “The man then took sets of handcuffs from his pocket and handcuffed each boy’s arms to his legs.”

When I was born I was first left alone in a room on a cold metal table. I was then taken to be baptised by a priestess who later became for a short time my cult mother and trainer. She was the first person I saw.
Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler report on P19 of The Illuminati Formula To Create A Totally Undetectable Mind Control Slave “When the child is born, the Illuminati make sure that its first view is of one of the people who will help program it. Often this is a Grande Dame within the hierarchy, but it might also be a male programmer.”
N.B. I have found that the healing process causes memories to be released to the consciousness. I believe the recall of this day of birth event was part of healing the associated developmental trauma.

Fiona Barnett, well known campaigner against organised child abuse provided me with validation.


All these instances and more, give corroboration to very bizarre events in a way that for it to be a coincidence goes way beyond the impossible.

Also I find myself to be of sound mind. I can find no signs of being delusional, and the difficulties I have are like those of other people dealing with the effects of complex trauma.

Mr. Declan Howard, 29th of December 2017. Updated 15th of March 2019.